Today would be the last day Ive spoken to J. J finally listen to the things I wish to tell him and there was alot of things that I told J that never in my life I wish for him to know. The reason y I didnt want to tell him was because I didnt want him to feel guilty nor feel that he feel bad. But today I told him was because I want him to know that I sincerely love him with all my heart and soul and nothing more.
Part of me felt like the shittest person on earth because Ive done something in the past to make our relationship work. But its worth it after all. Never a day pass by that I felt it was worthless. It worth so much that I never regret for doing so. Because when I love someone, I will selfishly do the things just so my other half would be happy.
I really miss J. Today when talking to him, just hearing his voice breaks my heart even though he was scolding at me, bt I miss him and just to listen to his voice is enough. With J, I finally understood the meaning of love and most importantly the meaning of Sacrifies. Is when you love someone so god damn much, even the sacrifies is big also, to you its worth it. Its better than winning a lottery or buying a chanel bag or getting good grades or scoring a deal in a job. Ive learn this thing called Sacrifies and with J, it worth every single minute of the day. If you ask me would I do it all over again for J, YES I would. I would climb the tallest mountain for him if i have to in order to get his love back.
Right now, I thanked him for this and I will always love him. In the future if there is a chance, i hope we both will treasure it and make it work, but if it doesnt, all i wish is happiness for him and hope that whoever that loves him can give him the things that I couldnt give enough for him.
No matter how far one would go, I always believe that love will bring us back together. Because I believe in Love and when both person love each other so much, in the end they would be back again together someday.
-S-
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