Went out with Grace and other of my frens yesterday. After so much talking and stuff I realise that I couldnt believe alot of things that Ive heard. Some were predictable and some really was unexpectable for me.
I know J doesnt love me anymore. In fact I think he has stop loving me a year ago even before we broken up. I hope someday J knows that those mean and hurtful words Ive said was just out of anger and sadness sum up all together. Hey people do mistake sometimes. J thinks that Im doing all this to get him back, but all I want is just a new destiny for us. Time and time again J say there is no longer US. And it hurts me every single time. J's mean to me now but still I miss him so god damn much. So much that people think Im crazy. How come J stopped loving me? Was it my fault before that I wasnt that patient enuff for him? I strangle him? At times I think Ive done 50% good as a girlfriend and many times I didnt think Ive done my part. It doesnt matter anymore.
I can love him and give him my all like Ive promised him 3 years ago when we started but I think today J has forgotten those promises Ive made to him. Ive made a promise to love him, to accept him for who is he, to walk this difficult journey through together, to not cheat on him, to please him, to be patient with him, to adore him and to sincerely with all my heart give what I could give. None of that matters now.
God please help me to move on. It is not worth it anymore. Let me go of this pain that Ive been going through this 7 months. He doesnt care anymore.
-S-
No comments:
Post a Comment