Somethings are really heartbroken

Sometimes I just cant understand why Im such a loser to love. Its so disgusting even to the fact that I go on loving that someone even if he doesnt loves me back or has done bad things in the past to me. Yet I still forgive them (somehow) and continue loving them without even erasing the previous develop love. It feels like....

When you love your dog soo mcuh that even if he chew your favourite Manolo's, eventually you'll forgive him and continuing loving him and caring for him.

Or its like no matter how bad your child is, maybe get pregnant b4 marriage or take drugs or enters jail or rehab, you still as a mother or as a father forgive and continuing loving for them and never discard them no matter how hard is it for you to forget the issue but still love them nothing less and think positive to move on.

That is a perfect example at how gullible I am when it comes to love. This is just boyfriend love not husband love and I still can be so gullible and foolish. If any girl were in my shoes...long gone they have ditch the bastard and move on ( try to) with life.

I dunno why am I such a fool in love. I rather not have the money, the luxury in life than not to have someone who doesnt love me. But sadly, not all person think of me the same way as I do. Or maybe Im just too kan cheong and focus more on that particular sector? In fact, I some more begged him to stay on wif me. WTF is wrong wif me. Isnt he should be the one thats sorry? Isnt he the one that begs me to stay and ask me not to leave him? Why Why Why???

Its so bloody painful yet in the end manipulate me and make me feel so bad as if i was the one that hurt him. Begged him to stay, ask him not to leave....WALAO I feel like such an idiot.

I dunno if I will ever find my true love ever again. I wonder where's my true love and when its gonna happen back to me. I thought I found back my true love....bt clearly I was wrong....Not even a slightest sorry or a slightest beggin ever came from him. Only did say his sorry for that one day and still can laugh when I was crying and beating him in his shoulder. Imagine, when someone hurted you, he/she can laugh and think its funny when your there fucking hurt and crying like hell. Its like as if he is laughing at me at how stupid I am to stand there and cry and as if he has suceeded in his little way to hurt me.

All he did was gave me ultimatum, fed up on the way I relate to things that happen in the past, ask me to choose to forget it or break up. Just today I realise that, He just want to move on and ITS NOT FUCKING EASY............

TELL ANYONE, ASK ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN HURT BEFORE, THOUGH THEY ARE NOT ABLE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH BUT THEY CAN TELL YOU ITS NOT THAT FUCKING EASY TO MOVE ON AND STOP THINKING ABOUT THE PAST WHEN SOMETHING SIMILAR HAPPEN AGAIN, ONE CANT HELP BUT TO THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN.

I just so sorry for what has happen and sorry that he didnt beg me to stay on instead gave me a decision to choose by myself to stay or not to stay. Maybe its time to be selfish and think about myself more than to think for him and for his sake.

God please show me the guidance and a sign if he is the one for me or if he's even worth it to be forever.

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-