Lucky Im in love with my bestfriend

Easter came and gone like the wind...
And now I can feel the stress and assingments pilling up like hills....
Bad enuff got this shit going on...Im starting to fall sick...Every single time....finals sure one of the time i get fever or flu or cough haih sien.....
But this time around easter was a moment tht I will remember for the rest of my life.

All this while, He was standing in front of me....So near yet so far.
I have no said a thing neither did he....
I guess all this while we thought we couldnt get pass through the idea of us being together because we are such good good friends and we care for each other so much to hurt each other.
Little did I know when we didnt talk for 3 years...he was always concern about me and find out little things about me whenever he could. I wish we didnt had to waste those 3 years...
But maybe because of tht we went our seperate ways to learn about life and to grow up maturely and when we meet....its just fall into place. And it really it...if it was 3 years back , you ask me to be wif him...i dont think he suits me and he would think the same too about me....But we've grown so much and mature so much that I think its right for us to be together....
No doubt in this 7 years being friends...I find similarities between us but I never thought we are SOOO SIMILIAR in sooo many ways....I guess like people say....its better to start of as friends only to be couples so tht we understand each other better and we would know if we suited together.

It is such a blessing in disguise to have him honestly...
I thought I couldnt break the fact that I like him only as friends....
And I know many of you knows tht my heart is hard to get it....

Well....He did....He broke those walls I built....he broke me and made me love him unconditionally....He manage to stole my heart away....I hope he loves me unconditionally too.....

I will never in this world hurt him and I hope he does too...
I hope for once Im right and tht he is the one tht ive been waiting for all of my life.

YouknowYouLoveMe,

-S-

:)

Another exiting news,

As of 3 of April 2010

Im officially someone's gf!!

Love magic

Sometimes when i think about it.

Am I considered lucky or it if just meant to be.

We've known each other 7 years and finally out of no where, we're together.

Its wonderful how life and love works in mysterious way tht no one can explain the magic to it.

I hope this time he's the one :)

YouKnowYouLoveMe,

-S-

I suck

LONG OVERDUE AGAIN~
I dont know why each time when Im back in melbourne or somewhat....I totally forget to blog.
I dont know how some people have so much time in a day to blog every single detail about their life.
I tried doing it but I cant lor....I dont even have time to take a proper sleep let alone blog.
But some people can lor....why ah? Maybe tooooo free??? Or internet addict?

Its so mafan....one is type second is upload pictures...in kl lagi worst la...takes time to upload pictures coz of the internet speed.

Anyways enuff of bising.....easters coming...so hopefully by then I will be able to blog alog....hahaha...

-S-

Married, babies and a whole lot more

I cant stand it....
Everyone I know or heard off are either getting married, getting engage or having a baby.
When is it my turn???? goodnessss sobs

-S-

Pushing

Even now tht your mine.

Yet your not the one I could talk too.

You always push me aside.

I cant even pour out things or tell you wat is my mind thinking.

All I get is rejection and rejection and then I have to oblige.

If not you will get pissed at me and dont want to talk to me.

So in the end...I just oblige to you and stop telling you things.

Sooner or later, I would be like a fake doll tht only can listen but cant speak

Busy Bee

Ive been uberly tired and no time to blog ever since I came back to melbourne.....

So much things have been going on and its driving me nuts.
Birthdays, assignment, personal matters....waaaaa my head gonna burst de la......I kenot take it hhaa....

Bored

I'm testing my iPhone blog....haha i wonder if it work haha xoxo Sam


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I miss you.
Yes I do.....
I hate it when I wake up alone each morning....
Cant wait to see you in june....:)

Stupid classes

Class started today and already I feel sooo damn DULAN about it....
I do not know how am I gonna survive this sem...omg...im sooo sooo soooo lazy!!
Anyways hopefully zha bo and me can be in the same class for design....
Bloody melbourne weather is making me sick again.....FOREVER LIKE THIS....
Update ya'll tmw.....
Nytessss

-S-

All I can do

Ive been trying and trying

But how come things still feel the same?

Is it really me or is things just feel complicated?

Ive spend nights thinking about it and to be honest, it felt like strangers

It felt like we're living in 2 different world.

It no longer felt like we're as one.

I wanna scream and shout.....but all I can do is just sit there and wait

Awaiting for that very moment.

-S-

Bruise ankle anyone?

Its been such a tiring day today.
Firstly went to St Michael Grammer school in chapel street coz my cousin wants to change her school there.
Its so nice compare to Msia school....Namely because the subjects.
They had the main subjects like maths english and such and then students get to picked out 3 more classes of their interest in different fields.

What caught my eyes was Music and production, drama, and everything else that's got to do with Performing arts. Immediately I missed school and if I were to be given a chance...I would be such a happy kid with those subjects hehe...Anyways I had an accident today and I almost yes...almost....banged someone car and it was a C class....haih....That idiot just jam break all of the sudden when I was shifting my lane to the right and with that I jam break and shift to a corner and the passenger side was 1cm close to the C class bumper. I got stunt and my legs went numb. Luckily there wasnt cars behind tht followed me if not sure habis one whole lane. Came home after that only to realise tht my ankle got twisted...Must have been me breaking or somewhat Im not sure...bt its becoming worst....My ankle seems bruise and pain and I cant walk properly. Stupid driver...!

Bathed Melody today and my my she smells nice now....She's grown so so big and somehow...Im not like any religious blogger who post pictures at every post....Im lazy haha....will show you Melody when I have the time to upload on my laptop haha. Other than tht, my dad cousin came with his family and tmw morning gonna bring them to eat breakfast...blerh....Im so lazy...I wonder if I can wake up ahaha.

Hope tmw my ankle would feel much better.....damn damn damn.....i wanna go shopping tmw also cannot....leg fucked up like this...haih...

Anyways off to bed now....Silly J havent called me yet...I wonder if he's already home....Missing J already.

-S-

!

Is it me?

Am I being too sensitive?

I do not know anymore

I need you

How come it feels like Im the only one in love.
Im so afraid of saying or telling him things in case he might think im being persistent.
Sigh.....
It felt he din care as he used to nor he wants to show tht he cares.
I feel alone.
Is it too soon to judge? Do he still really miss me now tht Im far away?

.......................................................................I miss him very much.
I miss how he used to call me each morning he awakes & how each night he calls me to chat & say goodnite
I miss how he is mad when I dont call or text him even how busy I am
I miss how his voice sound like whenever i call him
I miss how he says "Hi darling" in those exited manner.
I really miss all of tht very much and most importantly I miss him very very much.
I wonder if he miss doing all those to me?

Melbourne Melbored

Hello Melbourne,

Did you miss me? I sure hell I didnt miss you hahaha......
Yes people Im home in d land of bloody ang mo country. I only miss the weather here haha.
Just finish unpacked, bath and eat....now im doozing off before my four legged daughter will be home and i wont have time to rest....
Missing someone already :(

-S-

Cousins and growing up

3more days till Im leaving to melbourne once again.
Somehow this 3 months here in KL felt like the longest most hurtful days of my life.
It felt like 3 years instead of 3 months back in KL this time around.

I have so much todo before I leave for melbourne and somehow why didnt I do all of this before hand.
I somehow feel useless and again rush last minute things...aiyorrrr.....
Part of me cant wait to go back to melbourne so that I can leave all this bad memories in KL behind for a bit, but another part of me "mm se tak"/ tak sanggup to leave KL because Ive meet so many nice crazy insane friends that have been around for the past 3 months with me.

Tday us cousins went paintball game and it felt nice and kind of reminded me of our childhood. When we were small, we were so so close together but as we grew up...everyone went their seperate ways and thinking arent the same. We became adults, we think more deeper, we have our own life, career, bf/gf and never like before when we know nothing but fun and laughter and when is our next sleepover at grandma's house or who's aunt house this time to have sleepover. I can remember each school holiday we would all gather at our grandma's house and stayed there for 3 days or sometimes a week and we had tons of fun.

Back then our grandma still runs a kindergarten and she has this big ass bungalow where classes commence below and upstairs is where the bedrooms were. So we had a big big big enormous garden to run around, classes to play pretend, countless of rooms to play and a big ass balcony above to play and have night chit chats. Grandma use to have all the sport equipment too so we could play "pass the bean bag" or holla hoops or sack jumping and many other school stuff to play. So our time at our grandma place was always full of our own made up activities among the cousins and we would decide which room we should sleep in each night or nap time. Than most night, grandma and grandpa would bring us out to dinner or go jalan jalan and then we will all come back home and grandma will make us supper before we all curl in our grandma's room and tuck each others in and sleep.

I miss those time we had when we thought nothing but seeing the cousins for sleepover and seeing our grandma and grandpa. I wish right now even how old we are or even if we are married and have our own life, despite the uncles being an arse, I just wish we could all gather as cousins and think nothing but fun and laughter. Today was one of the days that I wish we had more often.

Anyways, pictures of today will be uploaded later on...Im tooo sleepy...After paintball we all went back home and nap and then we went for karaoke after tht. Majority of the cousins didnt be able to make it but it doesnt matter....we shall organize again another time when Im back from Melbourne.

YouKnowYouLoveMe,

-S-

Morning Malaysia

Its freaking 730am and I havent wake up this early since I got back from Melbourne!

If you ask why am I up this early is becoz..........

WE'RE GOING PAINTBALL!!

Yes no doubt Im still scared of the pain that will cause me, yet my itchy butt wants to play haha.

Update you pictures later.

YouKnowYouLoveMe,

-S-

New year new me?

Chinese New Year this year came and gone like the wind.

And that picture is one fugly pic my cousin took.

Should ask him to take more of me. His skill is not bad hehe. Kudos Chris

In a few days more Im going back to the land called Melbored.

Im going back to the land where I can forget all my worries here in kl and become a better person.

Its been a hectic 3months since Ive came back and none of them was suprising.

Am not gonna bored you with all the boring love shit and my past.

Ive decided to MOVE ON and leave everything behind and inside the closet.

No longer need to open it and be heartbroken.

Instead a new chapter of my life has just begun.

Today and from now on, it will be the old Sam again.

Ever ready to go on a new adventure and seek what I can be able todo now since Im single.

There are many guys out there who wants me, but only one will be able to break down this walls of mine.

And I wonder who will tht be?

But for now, I enjoy being what I am now and being able to do things I couldnt do before.

Tmw is cousin's day out at the paintball field.

Cant wait, perhaps clubbing at night? haha.

YouKnowYouLoveMe,

-S-

Sam, your stupid

C suprise me today.
He took me out and I thought it was just a normal dinner.
Little did I know he took me to shook and we had dinner there.
He said to me " I know your unhappy with wat J told you today, but i hope that i can give you what J couldnt give",
I couldnt help but smile knowing that someone still think of me and want to make me smile.
And I said...."ok...lets enjoy the night".
We talked alot today...about everything and about the future. Honestly....C is a very stable and romantic and giving guy. At times I feel bad for him but he always remind me to take my time and he knows someday I can give him the world. He said that I can love someone who has nothing and whole heartdly forgo everything to be with that person. He said a girl like me dont come by often. He say he wants to win my love and he will do watever it takes to be wif me. At a point I feel like Im on cloud 9 knowing that someone loves me so much in order to this for me, but another part of me wishing that it was Jonas who said those words to me, that Jonas was the one who want to give the relationship a chance and to find back the love for me. But sadly its not Jonas and from now onwards I will not think of Jonas. Because no matter what I do Jonas cant c it. He dont even want to give our love another try so why shud I go through all this heartache for someone who cannot give me something as so simple as LOVE.

Im afraid to give C a chance. I want to but at the same time Im afraid of getting hurt again. Because.....Im selfish and right now I only want to think of myself and make sure no one hurt me again. 3 years ago , I foolishly let someone break down those walls I built, and that person did not and will not love me. I dont want to be foolish again.

-S-

Suprises??

Tday went karaoke with my cousins and we had a blast.
Its been a long time since we all gather and meet up.
Should do it more often.

After karaoke, i went to c my frens for yumcha and suddenly I saw a M6 drove pass....I didnt notice the car plate, than suddenly someone came from behind and close my eyes.....The smell of the perfume I imediately knew who it was.......It was him :)

He told my frens not to tell me that he came and suprise me all the way from PJ....Just to come to rampai old town and c me....hahahahaha....i feel like cloud 9. Its so nice when someone purposely come and suprise you like this. Than it was his first time meeting my other friends. It went well and we chated and he send me home. He told me he was glad to see me and ask me if I was glad.....I just smiled. Deep down I am happy bt sad at the same time becoz I miss J so so much. Sigh.......

Tmw gonna go to honda to pick up the car that daddy bought for J previously. Sigh I knw its gonna kill me seeing that car and knowing that I cant sit that car when J is driving it. Told daddy to maybe pass that car to my grandma n change her car or something. I just dont want to see it at all.

Anyways, wanna go wash up now....Just got home...
Happy CNY to everyone too....

-S-