Wedding blues

I wanna share with you something very special to my heart.

Pretty ma my sister? Its her wedding photoshoot.

May yee if you see this, please dont forget to show me your final wedding picture.
I love you very much and Congratulation to my wonderful sister.

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-

Melbored!.....Im backkkk

Melborne....Im back lulu~~~

Anyways this semester Ive got what I want for my design class and my timetable is evenly spread out which is thank god. I dont have class for tuesday and friday hahaha....Anyways....

Just to update everyone on the places that ive been in kl and the many cakes Ive blown for my bday this year....I think the wholeee week of my bday I blow cakes non stop...

First stop : Momo Paradise, Shabu shabu , Taman Manjalara, Kepong

This chilli is damn nice!....I like it soo much

Yes deco was damn nice right...Only becoz Teresa bro fren owns this shop so we get VIP treatment haha...food keep flowing in doesnt matter if we eat onot. Becoz the rule there is dunno how many gram left you din eat you have to pay about Rm10 bucks or something according to each gram.

Its a self service space so you get to taruh how many chilli sauce or watever sauce and drinks you want haha

My little godson Justin playing too...and now he can also eat fishball hehe....

Teresa's fav....Piggy fishball hahaha

Myself.....eager to eat!

My jimuiz and her baby Justin

This is Teresa, My one n only best fren since form 1 who i cherish and adore the most!

Ive been there twice and still not bored of it. Without this wonderful lady who brought me here I wouldnt know....I cherish her as my sister and adore her for all the things that made her...I love you Teresa, Your heaven sent. Your a bestfren any girl would want and I thank you for being in my life.

2nd Stop : Red Box Pavillion

The Jimuiz. Myself and the 2 girls next to me will be my big sister Jimui this end year...weee exited

Last Stop : Red Box, Gardens

This was taken the night b4 I left to melbourne. Was suppose to go Velvet bt we ended up at Gardens Redbox and we drank there....We almost drink the whole chivas and that also 2 bloody human drank ok. It was me and Alex....aiya..... Anyways a lil pictures of that time and again they blow my bday cake for me aswell....Waaaaa damn blessed.

The girl in blue is my big sister who's gonna get married end of this year...muax

So thr you go....Got lotsa picture more you can go see in Facebook la...haha. Anyways new semester, Im gonna do well....this time I really would....hehe

Goodnight people

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-

You & me and the pink stars....

I know that you been watching over me,
Your up so high, The brightest in the sky,
You know that every night I pray my soul for you,
Tomorrow wont be as blue.

I hope you understand,
My love for you will never end,
Now that you've gone away,
But soon Im sure we'll meet again.

Give me your strength and love to fight the days ahead,
I'll give my life, I'll give you all my life,
Just to see you next to me again,
All the reason can be stand,
Im sure this time we'll meet again.

Give me strength enough to face the days ahead,
I miss you, I truly love you,
Tell me that you do,
I will promise you that I will always love you too

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-

Thank you

Its my party and I cry if I want too!!!!!!......

To everyone that send me bday wishes on FB, calls and sms and msn's. Thank you so much for those wishes, I cudnt ask for more. Im truly blessed to have frens and families like all of you and I thank you for all the guidance, support, love and care you all have given and stood by me. I love you.

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-

Packing sucks

MY GOSH................
1 more day till i fly back aiyor. Tday went ikano and one utama and bloody hell i forgotten to buy my eyeliner and blusher....Too exited until forget ady haha.....Went to watch Land of Lost and its the stupidest show ever....hehe....Sorry ya. I tot it was a good show...damnit shud have watch harry pothead.

Sigh....3 months of shit is pilling up on me and once again i feel the stress. Breath samantha breath.....

Okay today i must finish packing so that tomorrow i can go out and have FUN b4 i leave to melbourne....sobsssss..........Laterz.

I love you more.

Omg left 3 more freakin days till im off back to the land of kangaroo.
Waht a shitty feeling to leave KL.
And....my frens are going to clubbing!....I WANNA GOOOOOO.....haha bt i cant....sigh maybe in november then....eh not maybe its a MUST.

Daddy bought me the chanel bag Ive wanted since begining of the year. ahaha...I didnt know that my dad made a special order from chanel to ship that bag that I wanted from overseas. And with just a lil bit of luck they have it same size same color that ive wanted since it came out begining of this year....haaa....Im so blessed and suprise..Another addition to my bag collection wahaha.....!THANK YOU MUM AND DAD...ME LOVE U HEAPS HEAPS HEAPS



Other than that,done doing my customize desktop and let me tell you...Im a girl with no sense of computers thinga maginga and there I was at the computer shop in low yatt looking at the list derrick gave me with no clue what is what except for the word RAM, HARDDISK and DVD. Haha.....Im was sooo puzzled and keep asking thousand and one questions about this and that and about the brand and specs. Jeez if you ask me bonia or chanel brands than Im the expert la no one can lie to me bt heck wei,....computer shit....I really have no clue. I think if they bluff me the things also I wont know. But lucky the person there is damn nice and is willing to help me and adjust the price for me and derrick was on the phone most of the time to guide me and shit.

It was almost 5k the bloody PC and after much clicking on the calculator and me showing my kesian face, it went down to 4.3k together with the casing and all. So becoz it was 4.3k i ithcy backside la go buy the orginal windows xp and also a cpu cooler haha. Took it today and the guy opened and showed me the things they put in and on it to make sure everything is installed correctly and okay. After that off I went to JPJ to renew my international driving licence....which idiot told me can make the thing 5 years!....cannot laaaaaa..........if not its that easy....Came home just died on the bed straight...tooo tired....than at 7pm teresa and myself went dinner and then hung out with the rest of my clan after their work.

Owh owh and and.....I have pics from the shabu shabu place we ate and this fancy expensive dining Uncle Jimmy took us for my bday. Will post that soon. But for now.....

Im so blessed to have frens that supports me in good or bad times and celebrate the most important day of my life which is my bday. No matter how old am i, my bday is the most important thing that i will celebrate. Maybe is becoz my both parents made it huge and happening and somehow it became a trend for me to continue doing that and when no one does it...I feel damn sad and out of this world...Sooooo.....to not make me sad, my frens celebrated for me and my parents celebrated for me too.....2 different days but same location....RED BOX....my heaven place...haha. Where there is karaoke, there will be samantha hahaha.

My ladies.....thank you so much!

My wonderful family!. My pillar of strenght, my backbone

I love you all so very much, Thank you for making my life wonderful,meaningful,colorful and thank you for your ever ending support, guidance, faith and the warmest of heart. Im so blessed that I thank god each day how thankful am i to have families and frens like you and you and you!. I love you more!. Cant wait for end year to have more and more gathering like this. I love you all so very much.

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-

You, me, the stars and the skies

Felt asleep at 1plus and I had a bad dream and now eyes wide open at 445am and decide to blog. Lately Ive been having trouble sleeping. I would sleep very early this days and then wake up several times to realise that my heart is pounding really fast. And memories comes rushing to my head. I do not know how am I going to heal this. Ive made a decision but I guess its just damn hard to let go and really think about it. Is it maybe becoz like Jo said...." I had my comfort zone and now its gone Im not used to it". Maybe soo............ Questions keep on coming up to me like a tornado wave and Im so confused. Part of me is afraid it wont be for the better because like they always say " people never change" especially when your born that way, part of that will stay that way and yes....to be honest I am afraid. Im afraid of losing, Im afraid it wont change, Im afraid it will kill both sides and mainly because Im still madly in love with the other.

Another week till I fly back to melbourne and honestly, I wish I didnt come back to KL. Never knew that was my last seeing b4 the cool off period and never knew it would end up shitty. This year I have no plans for my bday. I dont want to care. Dont feel like celebrating it instead I just want to run away and hide because Im unsure of whats to come and how it will be. Its too soon!. Everyday I kept thinking and thinking, wanting to see the other bt I hesitate because then what makes a cooling period better that way. Maybe its best I just quietly go back melbourne and then it gives both a clearer mind and soul to really think about it though I know now its also the thinking period. Im confused, no better yet.....Im evil Im bad!. I do not know what am I doing now. Bt I know the other is unhappy and I know I can never give happiness the way the other wants it.

I miss the other and this holiday sucks!....Ultimately. Bt if I dont do this.....This painfulness in both side will never end.

我知道你还是爱着我

Lately Ive been having so much mixed feelings and at times I just want to run away and hide from the world. Sigh....Been hearing this mandarin song by by2 wo zhi dao and the song really has a very deep meaning to what its happening now. anyways here's the english tranlation of the song :

Never thought that I would no longer be able to hold your hand,
During troubled times, you are not there to accompany me in heartache,
It was all because I was too arrogant, I thought you would understand,
Kept forgetting to tell you how much I was moved.

I know you still love me,
Despite both of us already accepting the reasons for separation,
You knew that I would have a very hard time dealing,
So even until the end, you kept smiling wanting me to 'keep fighting'.

I know you still can't let me go,
That's why when you left you had to close your eyes and not look back,
We both know each others inner thoughts,
Actually, this love has never once stopped.

In my mind, the dream that was once full of happiness,
How I wish you were still by my side

I promised you that I would happily continue on,
Or else these tears would have flowed in vain

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-

The part where my holiday goes wrong.

Just saw youtube and and...I dunno if its new or old news bt the thing is....b4 his death MJ manage to settle his stuff and paid back neverland so now he own's part of neverland and most of his things that were suppose to be auctions has been taken back by the king of pop. He felt that those things are too dear to be sold and THANK GOD for that.....at least he owns part of that and his beautiful, and i mean BEAUTIFUL stuff is back in neverland ranch. Go youtube and google on MJ auctions stuff and see his beautiful collections...damn cool sial...he has a life size starwars all made by black lego....how fucking awesome possum is that?? haha....

Anyways. I finally decide on my elective/selective subject and can you believe it? Theorising the asian metropolitan is what im taking....Sounds fucking profesional la right....dunno can cope onot.! This time around back in kl, its not the usual holiday Im having now...Too complicated to even say it out and my feelings are so mixed up that I dunno if Im happy or sad. Maybe time would tell me my feelings. As of now I just want to enjoy my holiday and do the things I needed to do and think about the situation and my under takings/.

Note to self :
1. Buy new desktop
2. Renew my licence
3. Renew student visa
4. Check out Chanel bag....daddy's getting me the 2.55 jumbo that I wanted soo long!...hehe
5. Persued Mummy to change my BB curve to BB bold
6. Buy clothes and make up and Melody's stuff

Shit...I seriously have alot to buy and do b4 i go back melbourne...fuckkkk!

The part where I cant stop crying over MJ........

KL week 1

Been damn hectic since I came back and I wasnt able to blog much becoz of busy busy busy and also been griefing over MJ over and over again. At this stage I cant see any of his Mtv's, Musics, gossips or Youtube's coz it hurts me so badly that i end up crying. I guess many of you by now are sick and tired of me babbling about it but to be honest with you, I cant get enough of MJ. I cant accept the fact thats he's gone.

Today my cousin came over to my house and we watch MJ concert dvd's and we all sat and sang to his songs and of course I cried when Man in the Mirror song came up. It brought me back tears and image of his casket coming into the Staples Centre during his memorial service. Gosh, Ive never thought I live to see this. Upon hearing MJ greatest song he has ever written " Childhood" makes me cry even more becoz it talks about about his past and it really sooo down to earth and just plain MJ. I cant stop crying over him and Im sorry if this post bored everyone.

After watching the concerts, my cousin finally understood why am at such grief.....He's a legend and no one can ever replace MJ. Again Im saying this, I love you more Michael Jackson!

Okay enuff of this for the moment, Today one of my childhood fren got married today as in register haha....pardon my english. As I watched the most meaningful event, my head starts to roll on a scene like in a movie of me someday being there with someone I love and finally getting registered in the eyes of the law. It was blissfull seeing her there today because I watched my dear fren grow with me since form 1 and her love with this man years ago and how much they both have grown and finally now she got married to him. Im sooo soo happy for her and I just want to say congratulations to her and wish her a good life and a new journey with her other half.

Stop it! Beat it!

I dont get it why people keep saying that Michael Jackson converted himself to muslim before his death. Aiyor get it over with la....first and foremost look on the direct POINTS....how can he be a muslim when

NO1 : His brother Jermaine was the only one convert himself
NO2 : If MJ did convert himself, why didnt they did a memorial service in the Islam tradition? Instead they did a FULL ON i repeat FULL ON CHRISTIAN SERVICE. With the reverent, pastor and everything.
NO3 : Just cause when Jermaine did a statement on MJ death and quoted " ur family requests that the media please respect our privacy during this tough time, and may Allah be with you Michael, always" That doesnt mean MJ has converted.

With all due respect, please stop circulating this nonsense about this thing because even if it is true or false or watever, just leave it be. Sigh, Im so sad and I dun understand why this people keep on saying things like that and then saying his a child molester and things. Cant you ALL let it go! He has already in the hands of god and there's nothing you all can do to hurt him anymore. So please stop saying mean things about him and leave him and his family in peace!

SMILE

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
Youll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

I have never thought in a million years at my age I would see and witness the greatest Legend passed away. If I was say about 30 -40's and hearing Michael Jackson passed away than it wouldnt be too hard breaking because he will then passed away because of an old age and has already fullfill everything properly. But yesterday was heartbreaking for me and for everyone who have loved him and believe in him. He has given so much to the world and has done so much to the world but many has failed to see during the times when he was alive. I am sad and I am angry at those people who accused him and just do not want to leave him alone. Now I hope those evil people will be guilty and stay in guilt for the rest of their lifes. Now at least they can leave you alone michael. We love you even more. Like Stevie wonder said " We needed Michael but maybe God needed him even more" and just maybe....God love him too much and wanted him back so that he will not suffer the pain he has been through all this while here on earth. I am greatfully sadden by this and will continue to pray for him and his family and like Michael Jackson always said " I love you more". Do smile everyone as I know Michael Jackson wouldnt want us to be sad instead Smile.

We will always love you no matter where you are and we will continue on carrying your legacy with us forever and ever and ever.

Love,
SAM

Malaysia truly Asiaaaaa

Ive been eating and eating and eating ever since I came back from Melbourne and till now Im still not bored of it haha. Alot of new things open near my house and all also is makan makan. Die la sure fat like hell and need new clothes haha.

Went to the doctor today to have my prolactin lvl checked and tmw only the result is out. Have to do another MRI scan in November to make sure everything is alrite. And I hope everything will be alrite as the doctor made comments today that scared me and worried me. Sigh......still on medication once a week and I still need to take it for the next 2/3 years. I feel damn sad and dunno when will this end. He also said if i do get pregnant and my prolactin is high I might end up losing my baby and that is something I wish to not happen. I hope everything will be fine.

On the happier thoughts....I helped my auntie at her bubble tea store which my cousin set up about 2 months ago. Not bad the bubble tea and I made my 1st bubble tea yesterday haha....It was fun but a little bit cramp so i didnt get to do the shaking and only put the bubbles in the cup and my auntie shake. If you all happen to walk or work near Wisma Cosway, do have a sip and a look at MY DRINKZ located inside Wisma Cosway near the fruit shop area. Try the Pearl Milk tea. Their the best among many other nicer ones haha.


Had a gathering at phuture last saturday too and its FARKING CRAMP. I tell you do NOT...I repeat DO NOT go there if you didnt get a good table. Becoz the place will fucked you up with shit loads of people and You cant even drink or seat or dance. Mar chi pet right!. So please dont go though the music was damn nice and suits me bt just too bad we didnt have a good table and it was too cramp that we didnt even drink our bottle and idiotic people keep on taking our place and pushed us to the side like wtf la. There was one fugly girl with short hair and damn skinny with her botak bf just came next to us and push us to a side and when ask she say she ordering. Next thing we know she was opening her bottle there knowing that there is NO way it can fit her and her fat friends but still being a stupid fugly gurl with a botak bf she still squeeze herself there and ended up us dun even have space. I wanted to just slap her but than see her face too ugly ady i decided wat the heck. Dont need to create trouble. Even the group next to us got pissed at her too coz bloody hell cant she sees that we were also trying very hard to stand on our spaces and there she goes just squeesing herself in and just buat tak tau and show temper. Like HELLO...MAK TAK AJAR KA JGN JADI KORANG AJAR/. So much for clubbing la that night. But anyways we took pictures too and will upload them when im done resizing them which im totally lazy to do so.! haha.

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-

Neverland ranch by Michael

You Know.....If I ever have the money to buy MJ Neverland Ranch. I WOULD BUY!. I would take back all of his rides and animals and place them originally where MJ placed them and then I will make neverland the next Graceland just like how they kept Elvis Presley alive with graceland. I would do the same for Neverland to keep MJ alive with us. That is how and what I would do if I have the money in order to respect him and keep him alive with us and to honor him as the greatest Legand of all time.

We will truly miss you MJ.

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-

Packing and cleaning

Just finish cleaning up my apartment with helps from my brother and my bf.....bt still kena double work some of it....Finish bathing Melody too and now she's as clean as a baby....and smells damn nice hehe....

Just finish packing too and bloody hell I try to keep things light and less....bt end up with 2 lugage.....sei la.....I dont think I will ever qualified to be a small packer....Im a Big Ass packer la and no matter how much I try my lugage still is penuh and heavy haih.....Melody herself aswell has shit load to pack for her 3weeks holiday with my cousin when im away. My bf was like " omg...she's just a dog and already she has shit load of stuff"...one whole big LV paper bag okay her stuff and havent even includ her food and her beds and toys. But I wanna make sure she is well prepared ma if not she miss home than i lagi sakit hati. Flight is at 12 something midnight I think and Im gonna try very very hard to fall asleep in the plane so I can have the energy to go visit my auntie bubble tea shop when I get back in the morning.

Nothing much we've done here just lazing around the house. But will update on my winter holiday back in kl....and show you what food and places Ive missed for the past 4 months. hehe....

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-

100th post on sayangsam.blogspot.com

Today marks my 100 post in my blog.....WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...........

As this marks my 100 post in my blog....This post goes out to Michael Jackson.

I am so so sadden and shocked by whats happen and even though I do not know him personally but seeing him from afar and reading his interviews I know he is the most humble, most down to earth and sweet person that god has ever gave us. I have never felt that he is a bad person as how many people has perceive him and false accuse him. I think he is a wonderful man, father, brother, son, entertainers, musician that god has ever made.

Ive been obsess on seeing him previous interviews and private videos on youtube and one of the video on his private home videos, his daughter were asked what would she want to be when she grows up and she said " I want to be just like my daddy"....and tears started flowing down on my cheek and just felt for his 3 loving children that he love the most. What would they do without him. And Ive read somewhere online which I cant remember, i think it was pressandjournal.co.uk and some other la that the This is It concert that he is doing was also part to show him childrens what daddy does best and that would be their 1st time seeing their daddy onstage. I cried once again when I read those words he said.....Its too emotional knowing that he left like this without achieving those things for his childrens and they meant the world to him.

Its just like a tape recorder going on and on and in disbelief that the world greatest has left us. He is like princess diana or elvis presley or mother teresa that has left us in shock and in pain because he and those people are the greatest human that god has ever created.

My 100th post goes out to Michael Jackson and to his fans, family, childrens, and to many other that has loved him all this while. Lets keep his soul alive and continue on his Legacy.....

Thank you for those who are reading this post and I know many of you may think im insane but I am truly sadden of whats happen and thats why my 100th post goes out to everyone that has loved him and supported him throughout his life. We love you Michael from the bottom of our hearts.....

YouKnowYouLoveMe,
-SAM-